Day 63: Seduced by thoughts of the future…

 

 

Today was a rest day, and if you didn’t know by now, these are some of my favorite days indeed!  I do start the day with my favorite cup of java, while wearing my favorite grey summer robe, a newspaper to nourish my mind and the early morning sun to fuel my soul.  Today was unlike most rest days except that when I finished reading the newspaper, I felt a bit distressed at some of the items I forced myself to read.  It was then that I made the decision that if I couldn’t read anything pleasant, then I would create my own stories… in my mind of course.

I sat and wondered about many things before my mind rested on reflecting about the Quest and what tomorrow would bring.  I do a lot of planning with the adventures I take on.  More often than not, my plans go awry and some other force leads me in directions that have me curious, cautious, confused or even captivated in that sort of seductive way…  Ah…. And that is where my mind began to wander.

 

I have not had that seductive quest that I have been trying to plan. Where would that take place and what would that look like?  Picking the perfect waterfall to frolic in, making love on the forest floor, going skinny dipping for the first time, experiencing a new sexual feeling and perhaps finding out how wonderful that could be.  Yes, those quests are on the list, but have yet come to be… that is what entranced my mind as I sat and wandered to someplace pleasant.

I have seen several waterfalls and even thought about which one would be warm enough to step into so  that I could saturate my skin, excite the senses, and satiate my desire to get wet under a waterfall.   And yet, I still have not found the perfect location, but the search continues.

And just as that fleeting thought ended, I found my mind meandering to the perfect location to make love on the forest floor.  I thought about what I wanted to experience with that quest. My mind sent those unmistakable messages to my body that made me sigh before being able to collect my thoughts while fighting those sensations that were sending me to that place of readiness.

I found myself envisioning a soft pine needle bed with a fleece blanket laid neatly on the ground.  This quest would have a view of lake to see the shimmer of the moon on the rippling water, with an umbrella of stars as if to protect the love being made, and a subtle breeze to mute the pleasurable sounds echoing from my soul… a campfire would not be necessary as the heat of the moment would fend off the cool caress of the night air.  The perfect place would be desolate so that not another soul could distract from the merging of minds and bodies.  The perfect place would have to be free of danger and disclosure.  The perfect place is still yet to be found, but the search continues.

It was after that last thought that I found myself reaching for my coffee cup to quickly rescue my mind to focus on other things as my senses were going to a place I was not prepared for.  One sip of coffee and I centered myself, or so I thought.

But my mind was like a line of dominoes already set in motion and I couldn’t help to think of the next sensual adventure to be had…skinny dipping.   Yes, this is one many have done and I have yet to have the privilege of naturally giving my body to the water to be renewed and rejuvenated.  I sat and thought about the bodies of water I have swam in and all seemed to be perfect, but I did have one in mind.  The location had to be secluded enough for me to strip myself of concern and worry… a place that I could allow for the sun to kiss my skin enough to be warmed, a place that had clear water so that the image that is reflected above the water is true and honest… a place where I can find my smile to know that my spirit has been set free.  Perhaps there is such a place where I can be wet with good thoughts and natural feelings….Wondering where this quest will be.

As I sat in the sun the rays became warmer.  As the time went by and  I found myself letting go and smiling… I couldn’t help but think how far I have come on this journey and how much further I need to be.  To enjoy nature with a sensual feel and a seductive smile… to feel free of criticism and my own self doubts, to accept the way I was created and relish in those feelings that only happen when the time is right and the place is perfect, to choose to love myself enough to enjoy all that I was given, to have no regrets, and to create moments that will be forever ingrained in my mind as I age through the years, to be able to feel with all of my senses as if they were to be gone tomorrow… to never say, “I should have…”  All in good time, all at the right place, all meant with true intentions of strengthening my spirit, sharing my love and experiencing all that nature has to offer.

Another restful morning spent with good thoughts, spirited sensations, and plans to make… wondering what tomorrow will bring…