Day 28: Greatness lives in ALL of us….
“If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.”
-Anatole France, French Poet
The word “Quest” is defined as, “The act or an instance of seeking or pursuing something; a search.” This is where the literal meaning of the Quest resides… having the courage to see what we don’t want to see or admit what we don’t care to acknowledge.
Today’s Quest was presented by a friend, unbeknownst to her. She sent me an inspirational video. But when I saw the video, it felt like someone had ripped a Band-Aid off of a healing injury… you know that feeling when you pull the Band-Aid off and the scab comes with it. You have that stinging sensation, the bleeding resumes and you feel like you have to start the healing process all over again.
This is a wound I have never spoken of, but today, in order to heal, I need to find the courage to acknowledge it and leave it in the past, where it belongs.
Please watch the video first.
I have always been an active person and played every sport I could in my younger days. In high school, I was a successful athlete who was mentored by the varsity softball coach who saw talent in me. I played first base, batted clean-up and I was in great athletic shape. I rarely played one sport at one time. I kept active with track, volleyball and basketball. I simply enjoyed the competition and doing what I loved.
The plan was to go to college on an athletic/academic scholarship. My parents were only able to pay for college for the first three children. I had to pay for my education on my own. I was well on my way to achieving the scholarship goal until that fateful day. On one play it all came to an end. I sustained a serious knee injury that required surgery and ended my dreams of playing college softball. To compound matters, the light in my life, my Grandmother, passed away. I felt like a ship without direction. Through the healing process of both events and the stresses that came with them, were 20 pounds I never planned on!
I immersed myself in my studies and my hobby of flying airplanes to escape the reality of life. It worked for a little while. Shortly after I had gained the weight and felt lost, I decided this wasn’t me. I don’t give up… I don’t give in… I move forward… this much I knew. So, in one moment, I decided to change my health. I felt like a lighter version of the boy in this video. I felt as if there was nothing great about me, but every day, I tried to make strides to find my greatness.
My friends at the time did not know what to make of all this change. I wasn’t the athlete that I was before, yet I did well in school. I flew planes. I had goals. And now, I was turning into an even healthier version of what I was. I was looking better than I ever had and finding my greatness while overcoming my loss.
It was through this metamorphosis that my close-knit group of friends decided that they no longer wanted me to be a part of their lives. In an instant, they cast me out of the group and I was left to fend for myself. There I was, a newly emerged butterfly with a cocoon of friends that I was comfortable with and suddenly, I had nothing. One of the friends in the group remained loyal to me in secret, so as not to betray the group. When I asked what malicious deed I had done to have lost my friends, she stated that they didn’t feel comfortable with the changes I was making in my life. They didn’t want me to be skinnier than them or have higher goals than them… they were envious of what I was striving to become.
I was taken aback. True friends are supposed to support each other, not compete against each other. If they only knew the difficulties that I faced and the challenges I needed to still overcome. If they only knew how much I wanted the same for them. But they never took the time to listen. No, they judged me on the aesthetics. They were envious of the positive things I was doing in my life. They walked away from me when I needed them the most. In that moment, I decided I had a choice. I could wallow in the loss and feel less than I was, or I could move forward without them and do the best I can. I could be great in my own way. It was lonely and painful, but I chose to continue on my new path without my “friends”.
That was the last time, until very recently, that I was able to trust close friends. I had this fear that if I tried to better myself, succeed at something or share too much of my life, that those close to me would walk away. I have been exceptionally private until this Quest. Only recently have I allowed some close friends into my life.
Back to the video….This video reminded me of the fact that we all have greatness… but it isn’t an attribute that should be diminished, ridiculed or envied. The pursuit of greatness is something to be acknowledged and celebrated. Everyone has talents, abilities, beauty both inward and outward. Celebrating someone else’s accomplishments takes strength. But is also a gift to that person. It keeps our own spirit centered and reminds us that we all have greatness, we all have darkness, we all have the ability to discern between the two.
I need to thank the close friends in my life. You know who you are… I hope that I have been able to celebrate your greatness and that you have no doubt that I would never hurt you and always be there for you…
Greatness is exemplified by this quote “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
Today, I had to use the power from within to relive some dark days. I removed a Band-Aid and cleaned the wound in order for it to heal. Today, it was a close friend of mine who sent me a video that encouraged me to use my power from within to face the past, reconcile my fears and be reminded that greatness resides in all of us. We just need the courage to acknowledge it, celebrate it and share it with the world!!!
Healing… smiling…. Wondering what tomorrow will bring…
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