Day 51: Don’t taper expectations…

 

 

I woke up this morning with a skip in my step and a feeling of epic euphoria.   It was a taperific day and I wanted the entire world to know!  I started off with a swim and then strength training, all the while knowing that this was a taper day… yes, a taper day!  Why taper?  Because tomorrow I am doing what they said I would never do again—I am running a road race.

I have tapered before, that is, taken a day to rest the legs ahead of a running race. But this was different, much different.  You see, I have had many a doctor say that I needed to hang up my running shoes and either do nothing or just “take it easy”…. Those words have never been in my vocabulary!  I never really heeded the advice to stop running and nor did that ever enter my mind.  I knew somehow, some way, I would have to put on my Nikes, wear a bib and feel the wind in my face as I hit the road running.

Running is like breathing to me, I couldn’t live without it. I do know there will be a day when I take my last steps, like my last breaths, and I can’t go there in my mind, just not yet.  This Quest is all about living each day as if it were my last and such is the grateful feeling I get with my running.  When you run, there are certain feelings that you become addicted to like a good piece of rich dark chocolate that has you yearning for more.  The squishy sound that your soles make when they meet and lift from the pavement; the scent of wildflowers as you run past them, raindrops that hit your cheek as you run through the rain, snowflakes on eyelashes, that fantastic feeling when you know you hit your stride, a gorgeous sunrise you feel was created just for you as there are no other runners up that early to grace the road, a hard run that you finish as you hoped you would, running past a band of wild mustangs and feeling their strength and speed, lacing your shoes before a race, wearing a racing bib, hearing the gunshot before a race, and crossing a finish line…..  Like the air that I breathe, I could not live without these simple pleasures.

But just a year ago, I remember being on crutches from a hip stress fracture and hoping to walk without crutches by Fall.  Fall came and went, and with it was a knee problem that made me think I would be sent to pasture and never feel any of the running euphoria again.  I would read about my friends and their running accomplishments.  Some days I would sit and just hope and wonder if I would have it back…  some days I would just dream about what it felt like to train again… some days I find myself begging to have that ability just one more time.  I kept busy swimming, strength training and using the elliptical knowing all the time that perhaps it was all for not… but I continued anyway.

Dr. Finoff was upfront and clear that my days are numbered before a partial knee replacement is needed, but he wasn’t ready to have me give up on running just yet.   He would ask me at each appointment, “So, when is your next race?”  As if he was in my corner cheering for a comeback.   So, several injections, physical therapy and Alter-G runs and the knee pain is controlled.  The PRP injection I had several weeks ago has really helped as the knee pain has decreased each day since and now is only an occasional ache.   It was a week ago when I did a road run and noticed the pain was minimal and I had a tugging in my heart I simply couldn’t ignore.  I remember coming home from the run and looking up running races for July 4^th.  And as if it was meant to be, there was a race just south of here by about 45 min.  The decision was made…. What better way to celebrate “Independence Day” than to race “again”?

So, today is a taper day… a day to rest these legs, prepare my mind, center my spirit and revel in this taperific feeling.  My goal is not to place… my goal is not to pass the weak and hurdle the dead… my goal is not hold a medal…

My goal is to lace up my runners, wear a bib, hear that squishy feeling of my sole as it grips the pavement, run like the wild mustangs I see so often, feel the wind in my face, hear the gunshot and cross the finish line with a smile…. My goal is simple… to run again… It doesn’t get any taperific than that!  Wondering what tomorrow will bring!