Day 26: Discretion is the better part of valor….

“The will to persevere is often the difference between failure and success.”

–David Sarnoff

 

 

 

Today’s Quest takes me to Fallen Leaf Lake, adjacent to Lake Tahoe.  This is where I chose to do an open water swim.  I have never swum in these waters before, but I visited that lake one time very briefly and vowed then that I would swim from one end to the other.  That was the plan for today.   In order to do a long distance swim of this magnitude, I need to have a spotter with me; someone that rides in a kayak next to me and guides me through the water. The spotter watches for large boulders and logs in the water and boats nearby, in an effort to steer me away from danger.   The spotter also supplies me with nutrition and water as needed.

My spotter and I made our way to the kayak rental company and were told that they were not renting kayaks or paddleboards because the winds were too high and the water was too wavy.  I shook off my disappointment and made the decision that I would simply swim solo… maybe not the distance I had planned, but an open water swim at Fallen Leaf Lake nonetheless.  My spotter disagreed and said that it was too dangerous.  I have been told I can be stubborn at times. I prefer the term, “determined”.   I simply declared, “I can do this; the waves can’t be that bad!”

As we arrived at FLL, I was in complete amazement.  The last time I had visited in early April, the trees were naked and life seemed to be in hibernation.  I stood at the trailhead to the lake for a moment just to absorb the vibrant green grass and trees that greeted me.  There were butterflies everywhere with too many wildflowers for them to choose from.  On this trip, I could barely see through the aspen groves.  As I walked down the path, the air was filled with an unmistakable sweet wildflower scent.  I could have easily had spent hours taking photographs of every view I took in, but alas, the water was calling me!

As we made our way down the rock steps that took us to the water’s edge, I could feel the breeze come off the water and brush across my arms and face.  I quickly removed my shirt and shorts to reveal the swimsuit underneath.   I looked out at Mt. Tallac from across the lake and sighed with amazement at its stature.  The view was reminiscent of the movie, “Sound of Music”.  The high snow-capped mountains towered over the lake almost to symbolize its protective nature.  I could have easily stood there just taking in the view and listening to only the wind through the trees.  A couple men in a kayak (one they owned, not rented.. lol! ) looked over and saw us standing on shore and waved with emphasis and screamed “Hello!”  They were clearly enjoying their time on the lake.

I then decided to grab my wetsuit and slowly but methodically started to put it on.  I grabbed my neon yellow swim cap and goggles and placed those on and worked my way out into the very cold lake.   As soon as I was about 20 feet off shore, I could feel the breeze getting stronger and the waves intensifying.  My gut was sending my brain a warning signal, but in excited defiance, I chose to ignore it.  I acknowledged to my spotter that the water was a little rougher than it looked, but also colder than I had anticipated.  It felt as if the melted snow from the mountains never had much time to warm up today.  My hands were ice cold and I knew I had to submerge myself to get the swim started.  So, in one breath I reluctantly went below the water’s surface.  I could feel the 50 degree temperature penetrate my wetsuit and it felt as if it were freezing the very marrow in my bones.  I quickly brought my head above water and shook my head in disbelief!  I had swam in Lake Tahoe and Donner Lake, both alpine lakes and also cold, but today, this felt colder than any other swim I have done before.

I decided in that instance, to give it a go…  It took 100m, and some very large boulders to navigate around when I abruptly came to my decision… this just isn’t safe without help.  I sighed deeply as I felt completely defeated and disappointed in myself.  I wanted this to be a great swim… a distance swim…. One I could be proud of…  and just then, I had to center my spirit and reconcile that this was not in my control. I turned around and headed back to the rocky shore.  I knew in my mind that there will be other opportunities to take on Fallen Leaf Lake and today just couldn’t be the day.

I explained to my spotter my decision and he smiled and said, “It is the right decision!”  With that, I sat on the rocks and felt like my spirit had left my body.  I was not able to complete my Quest for the day and I could taste the feeling of discouragement as it coursed through my veins and into my aura.  I was left to question, am I really that weak?  Can I share the disappointment with the world?  It was humbling and humiliating at the same time.  Yet, my safety was paramount over the Quest.  Ah… the Quest. Should it even continue if there are failed attempts?  Am I strong enough to continue this journey?  As I stood up to ready myself to leave, I took one last look at the lake and the mountain and in my mind I recited this quote, “I am here for a purpose, and that purpose is to grow into a mountain and not to shrink like a grain of sand.  I will apply all my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy!”  I will be back to swim this lake from one end to the other remembering that perhaps discretion is the better part of valor!

I came, I saw, I sort of swam, I survived and I will return and conquer!!!!  Wondering what tomorrow will bring!