Day 81: I’m Alive…
“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.”
It was a very chilly morning and once again I lay in my sweet soft warm cocoon with no intention of getting up to greet the world. I looked out my window and the sun was just beginning to peek over the mountaintop to illuminate the sky. The stars were fading fast and I could feel that gravitational pull to surrender to the day and rise like the sun. Yes, there was much to do today but the concept of a rest day seemed much more appealing.
Alas, I could detect the scent of coffee as the automatic timer had already begun to deliver that savory aroma that had my mind telling my body, “Get going, there are good things to indulge in today!”. And so this sleepy girl gently removed herself from her cocoon and as quickly as the chilled air touched her skin, I slipped into my grey robe and tiptoed my way to the kitchen for some coffee.
The first sip was like visiting an old friend; you just don’t want to miss a thing. I sat and watched the news and read the paper and my heart began to sink. I couldn’t help but think, “So many missed opportunities in this world for true leadership to step up and do what is morally and ethically right. Yet, out of fear, those in charge side-step making the hard decisions for making the politically safe decisions.” Heavy sigh… Yes, missed opportunities and so many of them just in the 10-20 min of news that I had watched. I turned the channel to the business news as it is a bit more analytical and a little less controversial for me to digest. And then after a minute I turned the news off and walked to my office and just sat. I had much to do but felt compelled to just sit and meditate for just a couple of minutes.
As I sat with my eyes closed, I tried to place my neurons in a sleepy state, but they resisted and took me to a place of awakening. As I sat, I kept contemplating the number 80… 80 quests completed. 80 things I never would have done a year ago. 80 times I decided to go and see something or do something without the urging of others or my hand being held. 80 times I sat and shared with perfect stranger’s details of my life that I wouldn’t even share with my own family and friends! Yes, 80 times…. Then I tried to remember all the quests completed and found I was having a little difficulty, so I decided to jog my memory by looking at my Quest photograph file. There were so many photographs and many not even published.
A subtle smile started to emerge… I did all these things in only 80 days?! I still have 285 more Quests to complete and they need to become more important, deeper, with greater meaning, but still with some fun, exploration and provocation…. “Wherever will the road take me?” So, in an effort to figure out where I am heading, I decided to take the rest day and remember where I have been… and that is exactly what I did…
And so with 80 days behind me and this being a rest day, I was reminded of what I have experienced in this Quest so far… adventures I never could have imagined, a new found strength and level of self-confidence, a voice willing to say what needs to be said, a mind focused on what tomorrow will bring and what I can bring to it, a perspective that allows for the little things in life to be appreciated even more than before and a value for each day because there are always opportunities to find your courage and use it wisely… as was seen this morning in just 10-20 min of news… The missed opportunities to avoid doing what is right, just placate and compound the challenges of today. I think back to my Dad when he was fighting in WWII. What would have happened if one courageous man, Winston Churchill, did not take the risk to say and do what was right and just? It is very clear that I probably would not be here writing this blog.
Taking the opportunity to say what needs to be said, however unpopular, takes incredible strength and courage. In the last 80 days I have had the opportunity to do many things I never would have done otherwise. What I have learned so far, is that the fear we have about whatever it is we choose to say or do, is created by our own mind. If we agreed to say or do something and consciously tried not to think about the “What if?”, there would be no fear. Some fear is obviously healthy, otherwise we would all be engaged in criminal or risqué behavior and the results could be devastating. That said, when presented with what we know to be right and just, the answer is simple, there is no room for fear and courage must prevail!
On this rest day, I allowed gravity to pull me out of a perfect cocoon, to witness many missed opportunities for using courage to make hard decisions that affect positive change instead of safe decisions that are ineffective to many. If not for one incredibly bold and courageous leader, this shy and sheltered girl would not have started this journey and completed 80 days of Quests that have awakened her mind, enlightened her spirit so that she can share this path with the world.
One man… one courageous spirit… one brave opportunity…. and freedom and democracy were saved!
Feeling grateful to the past and excited about the future… Wondering what tomorrow will bring!
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